Two cards, two teachers
I’ve been having a pretty rough stretch lately, particularly at that intersection between my professional and personal lives. Yesterday, I noticed that I hadn’t actually looked at my cards for more than a month, which is a pretty atypical stretch me, and probably a sign that I’m uncomfortable with something in my life, so I drew a couple of cards and did a bit of automatic writing after each. I find this to be a useful approach when I’m not looking for guidance of the “What should I do now?” variety, but more of the “What am I missing here?” sort.
Question #1: Who is my challenger?
If you feel stuck, how much of that is real and how much is a lack of imagination? You didn’t create this world or the realities that you face, and you don’t have the power to remake them. You are not the master of your fate, because the Fates have no master. What you can claim mastery of – indeed, what you cannot escape mastery of – is your perspective. Which eyes have you opened, and which do you keep closed? How have you held yourself in the world? Is there a deeper wisdom that requires a sacrifice from you to access?
Will you lay the way you’ve always seen things on the altar of what you may learn? If so, when?
Question #2: Who is my ally?
Oh beloved, I have often fought you. Fled from you. Denied you, ignored you, climbed trees and closed doors and built walls and ran as far and fast in a direction your nature could not allow you to follow as I possibly could. I have worked so hard to distance myself from myself that I saw my self as other. And still I have been found, and in being found I have been undone and in that undoing I have been remade.
But all that, beloved, is to come. It is the end of the story we have barely begun to write. This part, this next chapter, may be the first step toward that end. I’ll open the gate, and venture past the walls of the garden, and make a place for you to join me. And then we will see what happens next.